We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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