I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
