all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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