just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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