You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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