He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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