He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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