She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
