the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they're like a gay fantastic four
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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