Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize