how can u be prego again
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
