Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize