We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
