Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
