We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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