I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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