My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
