we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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