No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize