I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize