first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
