hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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