thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
