how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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