it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
