I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
