Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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