Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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