Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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