I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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