oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
