dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
