Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
