So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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