We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
