Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
