I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Randomize
