Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize