birth control should be required to get into college
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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