you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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