U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
