Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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