we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
