I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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