No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
