Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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