Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
