Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
