i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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