I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
