i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
