I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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