She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
