im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
