But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
