More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
